Fits of hysteria and violent outbursts can only lead to one thing...

So, great news folks! I officially have feeling in my thumb. I learned this the hard way. All I wanted was some toast and honey, but the outcome wasn't very sweet. (Punny, I know!) It was quite disastrous. It seems that I accidentally put my thumb directly into the toaster... Not my brightest moment, I must admit. I ended up with second degree burns and a thumb that was definitely feeling it. In fact, I think the whole thing was magnified by my nerve damage making it 10000x worse. All in all, not the best 10 minutes of my life. Just sayin'.

So, I got this new product for my hair... It's like chemicals. It smells like chemicals. It's called Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Blow Dry Perfector, or some other long fancy-sounding name. I got it for Christmas. I was a bit skeptical at first. For one, I usually don't put things in my hair that require you to wear gloves to apply and instructs you to "call poison control immediately" following a lot of contact to skin... That's just a bad sign. Knowing me and my habit of spilling things, I thought it may have not been the most well-thought-out present. Keep chemicals away from me; I will get hurt. I may also have been skeptical for the fact that upon opening the bottle, my nose was filled with such noxious fumes that I had to break out my emergency Harijuku Lovers bottle and spray down my bathroom like I was extinguishing a house fire. Like any good skeptic, I decided to do some research on the Internet before using these products... I found that it had extremely positive reviews, so I decided to try it... Let me just say.... I have never, not once in my entire life, been able to say (without a visit to a hairdresser) that I am completely satisfied with my hair. Tonight, I am. It is perfectly straight, thin, and smooth. I can ask for nothing more. I am so happy that I feel like dancing. But, I always feel like dancing so that doesn't mean much...

On a different, more raging note, I am FURIOUS. I haven't eaten a chocolate creemie with chocolate sprinkles in months. I am dying, devastated. I have never gone this long. Actually, I have. Last winter. And I went into a state of depression. I am considering buying a creemie machine so I don't fall back into the same black hole of endless night. I hate winter. Actually, I don't. But I hate that creemie stores close in the winter. I don't CARE that they don't make a profit! I would buy creemies every day! I don't care how cold it is! I WANT ICE CREAM! You know what? I will be their sole customer! I will buy all of their creemies every day and they WILL make a profit. SO HMPH, take that evil creemie stores! You can't deprive me any longer- I won't let you!

OK, I feel like your eyes are all getting wide. Oh shit, Dylan's gone crazy again. I'm sorry guys. It's just... I'm going through major creemie withdrawal. My symptoms include fits of hysteria, anxiety, insomnia, blackouts, and outbursts.

Not really.

I don't want you to think I am a psycho.

I'm not.

Really.

Kind of.

Sort of.

Okay.

Maybe a little.

Anyway! I'm going to sleep so... Until later, my friends.

CK