Bored?

As a person who has been bored for the majority of my life on this Earth, I have developed some failsafe cures which tackle the root of the problem. The condition of boredom is fairly common. In fact, at least 100% of Americans will experience it at least once in their lifetime*. The only proven method of entirely obliterating boredom is to find something entertaining to do, thus completely eliminating the condition as a whole. It might seem impossible, but really, it's easier than it sounds. I've spent nearly half my life doing pointless things because I'm bored and have nothing better to do. Things don't seem so pointless when your only other option is to watch reruns of South Park. (Which sounds great, but it will probably be the New Jersey one because they play it every single day.)

So, I have compiled this list of things to do when you're bored out of your f'ing mind. I hope you enjoy the following, er, compilation.

*Numbers are not based on any real scientific observations, though I am willing to bet a fresh slice of Mozzarella that they are completely accurate. And I'm not usually one to bargain cheese.

Part I- The Internet is a Beautiful Thing


You are already on my blog. So I'm assuming you are bored. Though my blog, I'm sure, is a quality source of entertainment and this list is a semi-effective cure for boredom in itself, it can only take you so far, and therefore I am compiling this list of the Internet's many other wonders which you may explore and exploit to your liking.

1. Before you begin this list, you should definitely play some Stunningly Harmful Songs in the background. I suggest "Super Heaven"
2. Don't get many compliments? No problem! Now, you can cure your boredom AND boost your self-confidence, all in one place. Feel good about yourself by getting a Virtual Affirmation.
3. Too many compliments? No problem! Now, you can cure your boredom AND lower your self-confidence, all in one place. Have snarky remarks shot mercilessly at you- It's Virtual Sarcasm!
4. There's nothing I can say about Hopping Lederhosen. I think it speaks for itself.
5. It's always good to have an Emergency Yodel Button handy.
6. Check out how these two Harvard students cured their boredom! Squirrel Fishing 
7. You know what to do. Unless you don't, in which case, neither do I. Click Here to be confused.
8. When real laughing isn't enough, Laugh With Your Fingers!
9. Need a break from all this crazy pointlessness? Theres a sit for that too! Do Nothing For 2 Minutes!
10. You deserve a Look of Disapproval. Just 'cause.
11. Probably the most worthy thing to do with your time... Look at awesome Beards. 
12. Because Koreans are just funny....
13. Think you've seen everything? Have you seen... A Chicken on a Raft?
14. Need to add some variety to your life? Sometimes it's red, and sometimes... it's blue.
15. For when you are feeling too lazy even the play pointless computer games...
16. The Game
17. Though it may cure your boredom, I do not suggest doing drugs. Especially shrooms. Though, I suppose you could try... E-shrooms?
18. Because who hasn't always dreamed of a laser-gun-shooting squirrel?
19. Boing
20. Every cat owner should read this... You might be in grave danger. How to know if your cat is plotting to kill you.
21. Hiyoooo.
22. Because we all need a Vacation.
23. The eternal Moonwalk
24. Just look at that hat....
25. Ever dreamed of witnessing a duck-shaped peanut firsthand? Well, you probably never will. But here's a picture.
26. IT'S A DUDE IN A BOX. (You know, like that song? Except, well... it's... well... yeah.)
27. Learn to speak the language of Electric Mice. Because, you know, it's totally a life skill. And Pokemon is just BA like that. The Pikachizer!
28. This might just be the best thing to hit the internet since Chocolate Rain. Doors.
29. A list of the relative bad-ass-ness of pretty much everything... I'm loving this, and I thoroughly agree with it. (Yoda is definitely more BA than Darth Vader.)
30. Proof that Peanut Butter is the most versatile and entertaining food item. To those with peanut allergies, SUCKS FOR YOU. I would probably not advise you to take part in any of the fun activities suggested on this site.

Alright, I will of course continue to add things to this page... More internet sites, as well as other "real life", "reality-based" boredom-curing things to do. I will get around to it. Next time I'm bored. As far as visiting my blog goes, THANK YOU.